A DARK BASEMENT, THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE DROWNED OUT

by Zack

3:15 AM on the edge of downtown 

where it’s not quite dangerous and not quite safe 

in line with eight others in front of the bail bond building 

across the street from the bus station 

IMMIGRANT LAW glowing like a halo above your head 

sweaty figures off to the side squatting in the parking lot 

smoldering cigarette butts dangling from lips so red they glow in the dark 

muted chattering 

flirting 

panting 

coming from their enclave 

 shuffle forward it’s almost your turn 

fumble for your cash 

“empty pockets, arms out” 

“you’re good” 

walk inside, a glowing red staircase 

bodies staggering down in front of you 

steeper than you remember 

you’re at the top of the city now except there’s no windows 

eyesight is useless here you only have sound 

and scent 

and touch 

hand your cash to the man at the table 

do you know him? 

bright pink paper band slapped on the wrist means you’re safe tonight 

you’ve passed the test 

come and go as you please 

come have a drink 

one tequila soda please 

only two ingredients but somehow it’s terrible 

bartender couldn’t hear you anyway 

they learn to read lips here 

you will too before you leave 

the sound is scaring you 

like a warring horde is in the next room and you can’t see them 

only hear the sound of their armored feet stomping bringing chaos and doom 

the Greeks called this kakophonia 

they are guerillas and irregulars and the cavalry on horseback and the drafted kids and soon enough you’ll be one of them 

a soldier in this battle waged by the blind 

but not yet 

take your drink down the hall 

collect yourself 

you sit down in a room 

televisions on the walls showing sex 

don’t look too long or they’ll think you’re a cop 

there’s others here but they’re more loaded than you 

you wouldn’t be able to hear them anyway 

you’re in a dark basement two stories up 

and the sound of your voice is drowned out 

a man in sunglasses approaches 

touches you on the top of your head 

he’s shirtless and shining and smiling 

“are you real?” 

what an awful question to be asked at this specific moment 

or any moment 

you lean in to speak but he wants to kiss 

“excuse me I’ll be right back” 

you walk past the horde on the floor 

(we’ll return here soon) 

drums and drums and drums and drums and drums and drums and drums 

picking your way across spilled drinks and discarded clothes 

black stalls on your right 

for those who want to do their drugs and have oral sex without being asked to share 

their powders or their mouths 

you turn around down the narrow stairs again 

you don’t smoke but nevertheless you join the squatters and share a menthol with a woman you don’t know 

a couple is spat out from the staircase 

“I’m leaving” she says 

“I’m too high” he says and starts to cry 

you hike back up 

one more drink 

the sound has never been louder the people have never been more beautiful 

if you just start moving it’ll make sense eventually 

and it does 

and then you can’t stop and you’re no longer yourself 

you’re a part of the horde 

and you’ve learned to read lips 

and bodies 

and eyes 

everyone here is part of a ritual 

a kinesthetic cum psychoactive seance 

five minutes here is actually three hours 

the music fades away and you’ve sweat through both your layers 

very bashful of you to keep your layers on 

the horde is only ten or eleven bodies now where earlier it was millions 

and you return to inferno. 

It’s light out, and it’s time for you to go home. 

Zack is a graduate student studying Economics in Boston. He spent the best decade of his life living in Pittsburgh, and will always be a yinzer.

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